There are situations where making an amend might cause more harm than good. Assess whether making amends might cause additional harm to the other person involved. For example, contacting someone you’ve harmed may exacerbate their distress, especially in severe cases like drunk driving. When making amends to someone in active addiction, safeguard your own health and recovery. This might mean delaying the amends or finding alternative ways to demonstrate your commitment to change without putting yourself at risk.

The Role of Prayer in Building Willingness

Situations involving abuse, for example, may be better addressed by writing a letter you do not send but instead share it with your mental https://ecosoberhouse.com/ health professionals. If a direct amends is not deemed appropriate in a particular situation (or if you are unable to locate the person), an amends can be made in a more general way. For example, donating money to charity or volunteering your time can take the place of a direct amends to a former employer you cannot reach. The Sober Companion app is a valuable tool to support your journey to sobriety during challenging times. This user-friendly app provides various features, including relapse prevention planning, daily affirmations, gratitude journaling, and a supportive community. With the app, you can access resources, track your progress, and find inspiration when you need it most.

The Importance of Staying Sober While Making Amends

Making amends is more than just saying “I’m sorry.” It’s going the extra mile to make things right. By making amends, you are clearly demonstrating the difference between how you acted before and how you will behave from now on. Apologies don’t address the undercurrents of our choices in addiction, nor do they illustrate our intentions for the future. Like many people I talked with who committed infidelity—who, as one person put it, were “infidels”—Diana’s compulsion to cheat didn’t disappear after she got married.

Who Belongs on my Step 8 Harms List?

By embracing the opportunity to make amends, individuals in recovery not only seek reconciliation with others but also embark on a profound journey of self-discovery and healing. In the path of addiction recovery, Step 8 holds immense significance as it involves making amends to those we have harmed. Indirect amends refers more to the thoughts and attitudes behind the behavior. Indirect amends focus on the mentality that must change for the better. For example, let’s say you punched a hole in a friend’s wall while under the influence of alcohol.

• Before completing step nine, the recovering alcoholic needs to be ready to deliver their message with the best intentions, not motivated by false expectations.
• Trying to complete Step 8 on your own can leave you feeling overwhelmed or lead to errors in judgment about who belongs on your list.
• Once you become more self-aware, you can take steps to apologize and repair what may have become broken.

Why Is Making Amends Part of the Recovery Process?

The good news is however, that with the right steps and mindset, you can offer a sincere apology and make amends to the people you may have hurt. Apologizing to loved ones can be a challenging and emotional process. At Harmony Haus, we offer the guidance and support members need to navigate this stage in their recovery. Through our various sober living programs and services, our members gain the tools to reflect on their past and communicate more effectively. However, making an effort to repair relationships will benefit you and your loved ones in the long run. If making amends requires the recovering alcoholic to report a past crime, they must be willing to go to jail to complete this step on their road to a complete and limitless recovery.

Twelve Steps for Parents: How to Make Amends with Children and Family

If you have devoted the necessary time and energy to the first 8 steps, you should have a solid foundation from which to approach what is alcoholism making amends in Step 9. Your relationship with a higher power—no matter how you define it—can help you to remain open and willing, even as you acknowledge hard truths about pain you have caused to others. More often than not, step nine will be painful, but also equally freeing. There is no denying that taking step nine takes tremendous courage. In sum, when recovering alcoholics reach step nine, they are completely connected to their Higher Power.

Develop empathy for their situation and you will come to better understand how you wronged them, why it hurt, and ways you could possibly make it better. Children don’t need to hear about the disease of alcoholism or the Twelve Steps. In Twelve Step terminology, another word for “amend” is “fix.” Not the fix we might have chased back in the day, but a fix to a broken relationship. We don’t need to delve into the past and apologize for every birthday party we missed, every fight we picked or the years we were absent— either physically or emotionally.

• After overcoming homelessness and drug addiction, Adam found his life’s purpose in helping addicts find the same freedom he found.
• While the process may seem daunting at first, you can make amends in a way that’s sincere and respectful.
• With time, patience, and continued dedication to personal growth, trust can be restored, paving the way for stronger and more resilient connections.

What is Drug Detox?

Try to avoid falling into the same behavioral patterns and actions that lead to you hurting others. Continually examine the ways in which you act and look back on past mistakes to uncover the reasons that you made them. This will help keep you from making the same mistakes in the future.

• The process of making amends is highly individual and may vary depending on the specific circumstances and relationships involved.
• This gives us the habit of feeling like a “late” apology is no longer valid.
• Relationships are chief among the casualties of substance use disorders, and for good reason.
• You may have a list of people you want to make amends to personally.

Holistic Approaches to Drug Detox: Combining Science and Wellness

During the process of making amends, it may come to light that there are individuals on the amends list who are unreachable for various reasons. In such cases, it is crucial to remember the principle outlined in Step Nine, stating that amends should not be made if doing so would cause harm to the recipient or others. living amends definition As noted by the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation, making amends should not result in further damage, harm, or stress.

It continued in Step Five, when we shared this information with another. And in Step Eight, we looked at the amends that we now must make. Our team at Advanced Addiction Center is dedicated to setting the bar for quality treatment right here in Medford, Massachusetts. If you’re ready to take the first step toward recovery, call us today. We create customized treatment plans and provide ongoing support every step of the way.